The Brilliance of IFS-Informed-EMDR
Sometimes healing doesn’t follow a straight line. Sometimes it doesn’t respond to just one approach. And sometimes, what’s needed most is a space where all parts of you—especially the scared, protective, or hurting ones—are invited in, not pushed away. This is why I’ve come to deeply trust and love the integration of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and EMDR. Not just because the research is compelling, but because I’ve seen the difference it makes. I’ve felt it in the room. I’ve experienced it myself. IFS-informed EMDR honors the complexity of trauma. It respects your pace. And it allows the healing process to unfold in a way that feels less like exposure—and more like collaboration.
What Is IFS-Informed EMDR?
At its core, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful, research-based method for helping the brain reprocess traumatic memories. It’s especially helpful for healing the kind of stuck pain that talking alone can’t always reach. Internal Family Systems, or IFS, adds something essential to the process: the understanding that we’re not just one unified self, but a system of parts. These parts might include the voice that criticizes you, the childlike part that still feels afraid, or the protector that keeps you distant or “numb.” Each part holds a story, and each part has its reasons. When we bring these two approaches together—EMDR and IFS—we don’t just work on the memory. We also build relationships with the parts of you that are holding the pain, the fear, the shame. We help them feel safe enough to begin letting go.
How I Found My Way to This Work (and How It Found Me)
Before I had any formal IFS training, I noticed something happening in the therapy room—both with clients and within myself. Sometimes during EMDR sessions, the process would suddenly halt. Something inside the client would say, Nope, we’re not going there. Sometimes it was a flood of emotion. Sometimes it was total numbness. Sometimes it was resistance that didn’t seem logical, but felt very real. Without realizing it, I started asking questions like:
“Is there a part of you that’s not ready?”
“What might that younger part of you need right now?”
“What’s that inner voice trying to protect you from?”
I didn’t have the IFS language yet, but I was intuitively doing the work—recognizing that healing wasn’t just about going back to the memory. It was about honoring the internal protectors and exiles. It was about making room for the full complexity of the system. When I finally trained with The Syzygy Institute in IFS-informed EMDR, it felt like a homecoming. Like something I already knew in my bones was finally being named, affirmed, and refined. It helped me trust my instincts more. It helped me slow down. It helped me stay attuned not just to the trauma, but to the inner world of the person sitting in front of me. Since then, the sessions I’ve had with clients using this integrated model have been some of the most meaningful and transformative I’ve ever witnessed. Not dramatic. Not always fast. But deep. Real. Brave. Tender.
Why This Work Matters
Trauma healing isn’t just about revisiting painful memories. It’s about creating an environment—internally and externally—where healing can actually happen. Standard EMDR can be incredibly effective, but for many people, it can also feel intense or destabilizing, especially if they have strong protective parts guarding their pain. IFS brings in the voice of those protectors, invites them to the table, and asks:
What are you afraid will happen if we go there?
What would help you feel safe enough to let us explore?
It’s not about bypassing trauma. It’s about tending to the parts of you that were never given a choice before. In IFS-informed EMDR, healing becomes something we do with you—not to you.
What It Feels Like in Practice
A session might not begin with reprocessing a memory. It might begin with pausing, noticing, and checking in:
“Is there a part of you that feels unsure about this work today?”
“What does that part need to feel more at ease?”
“Can we offer some reassurance, or ask what it’s afraid might happen?”
Sometimes, we spend an entire session with a protector. Sometimes that’s what’s needed. And often, those moments of deep listening and respect are where the healing starts—not when we “go back” but when a part finally feels seen. It’s not a quick fix. But it’s honest. And in my experience, it’s what leads to healing that lasts.
A Closing Reflection
If you’ve ever felt like therapy didn’t “work” for you… if you’ve been overwhelmed by emotions you couldn’t explain… if you’ve hit a wall in EMDR or other trauma work… please know this: There’s nothing wrong with you. You are not too complicated. You don’t need to bulldoze your way through pain in order to heal. Sometimes, healing starts when we stop trying to force it. When we listen more closely. When we honor the protectors that have kept us safe for so long—even when their methods no longer serve us. IFS-informed EMDR has taught me that healing can be slow and still brave. It can be tender and still powerful. It can be a homecoming to parts of yourself you thought were lost.
And that? That’s what I consider sacred work.
